In 1999, a team of radical scientists had conducted a very dangerous experiment, causing the death of two test subjects. The scientists had thoughtfully sent three test subjects into outer space.
However, this was before anyone had known what the depths of space was like. During the trip, a wing on the shuttle had broken off, causing it to go haywire and crash into the wrong part of the moon.
Two subjects were badly injured, one had severe brain damage, and the last had his arm going through his throat. The scientists were sued, not to mention the deaths.
They had to pay each family of the astronauts a nice $600 dollars, so they could attend to the funeral of their beloved. For many years, people had thought that the shuttle crashed.
However, this couldn’t be any further from the truth. The real truth was that they were attacked by mutant rainbow chocolate unicorn! It had cuddled the astronauts to death. Many people didn’t know this until Mr. Fantastic told them gravely. Some people had a laugh, some people had a cry, but most were disappointed that the astronauts weren’t able to make it back to earth, and report what space was like.
That is simply why many people aren’t astronauts - because they’d be cuddled to death by a mutant rainbow chocolate unicorn. That is also why some of the best Astronauts on earth fear space, or, at least they say they do. What they really fear are mutant rainbow chocolate unicorns… beware…. their only in space…
WARNING:
Do not go into outer space until you have been proffesionally trained by a mutant rainbow chocolate unicorn defense man. Many people have died in the hands of a mutant rainbow chocolate unicorn when they didn’t know about one.